Four days. Four interminable days. I wish whoever it was that decided when Christmas would be on our modern calendar they had placed like Thanksgiving and made it the fourth Monday of the month of December. Instead, it is a date. Sometimes it falls on a Sunday (which is awful, because then–zero time off!), sometimes it falls on…….a Wednesday, which means you spend all weekend getting excited, then, whammo! normal (read, absolutely awful) Monday. Because we all know that it will be. Then, of course, who sleeps (well) on Christmas Eve? You’d think that you hit “adulthood” and then you would sleep well–too old to wildly anticipate Christmas, Santa Claus, stockings, presents, etc., but you are not! I received word from my mother yesterday. Since we will have no extended family with us on Christmas (the reason we used up some of my favorite traditions on Thanksgiving), and we have all eaten way too much turkey and/or ham (ANY turkey or ham is way too much for me), we will be having a very non-traditional Christmas dinner–lasagna. Admittedly, it had to have been Dad’s decision. It’s been his favorite dish since who-only-knows-when. But we aren’t Italian………..I think. Actually, come to think of it, our family genealogy is not that clear, so then again, we could be! It would explain Dad’s nose (which he in turn passed on to me–of course!) But that isn’t really related.

Four days. I just hope Monday and Tuesday fly by. Sunday could too, actually. I love my church, but really! Maybe I’ll just go to bed and sleep for the next three-and-one-half days. I feel as though I could.

I’m not really sure what makes me so excited about Christmas. It really isn’t the presents, or the food, or the traditions. And as much as I want to sound pious, I don’t even think it is about celebrating the birth of Christ, not this year. Awful, right? But honestly, as much as I gripe about the wait, I don’t know if I really care, or am trying to talk myself into it. “Oh Holy Night” is my favorite Christmas carol ever. Because, usually, Christmas feels holy. As if there is something sacred about it. The birth of the Messiah, the closeness of family, dear friends, wonderful traditions–they are the “holy” part of Christmas. But this year, it feels commercial. As if the holiness got lost. Or I lost it. Instead of great songs of Christmas past, celebrating family, the Christ Child, etc., all I hear is whiny songs about “Last Christmas” or, “Santa Baby”. And nothing is “fixing” it. The lights blinking when it is dark outside, the smell of warm cookies, the Christmas story–I’ve tried everything………

Four days. Maybe it will be better by then.

Merry Christmas!


Almost Christmas

It’s been too long since I posted. Not because I have followers, or anyone who really cares, but because it helps me. It’s a purge–things that have been weighing me down are brought out in the open, all without having to scream at people I love, or people I go to church with, or people I work with.
The video is your Christmas bonus. I found it recently and have since watched it…..several times. I did not realize that you could do a legitimate music video when you did not sing only played one single instrument. Guess that’s easy. Just find two other people! But I’ve always thought of Josh Bell as snobby, upper-class music. This isn’t. And I love violin. And Christmas carols.
I’m so glad it’s almost Christmas. The break is amazing. I’ve been needing to take more breaks. I’m not that old, I think, just bogged down from several consecutive years without really taking a break. Instead, breaks have become the time to catch up on cleaning, finish a project, sort out my closet, read a book that I don’t really, really want to read, but I really *should.* This year, when I’m given a break, I’m trying to savor it. Try a new tea, read a new book that I really want to, watch a movie that I’ve been dying to, write, sing: all the things that I never really have time to do. This Christmas break I am seriously considering jumping into the Lord of the Rings books. That way, I can read the books, have the last movie come out, then marathon the movies. That is way cheaper than going to all the movies anyway!
I’m just so glad it is almost Christmas!